Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
