Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
