it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
