I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
