everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
