$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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