Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
