No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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