it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize
