i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
