just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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