U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
