Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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