I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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