I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
