we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize