just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
sarcasm needs its own font
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
