Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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