I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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