Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Mom said you looked used
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
