my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize