She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
