I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
