Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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