she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
