I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
