i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize