oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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