Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
