"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
