I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
