you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
