so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
