i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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