Soap is not a condiment
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
