My first STD was from a foam party
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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