kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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