so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
