its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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