I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dear god my vagina.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
