he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
