Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
