i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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