That's intense
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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