Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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