I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
