i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
