he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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