I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
