You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
