i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
