I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
