You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
