Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
