I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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