it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
