I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
