How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
