im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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